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Feb-29-2012 02:32printcomments

Nitty-Gritty on Creative Coping

Nuggets of distilled wisdom can guide each of us to conquer our fears and be determined to ultimately prevail.

Meeting of the Minds
Image: cmu.edu

(SALEM) - It happens that last Sunday night I attended a mens rap group hosted at the Salem Hospital. Our group was quite small which allowed us to get to know one another in depth. Since I was the "new guy on the block", the others were game to probe my mind and engage me in serious discussion.

Some neat insights emerged, well worth sharing with you and your close friends. Here goes:

  • Negative Role Models: Many of us experienced parents or siblings who alienated us and pretty much convinced us we did not want to turn out to be like them.
  • Avoidance Mode: As a result, we shaped our behavior to avoid things rather than having a true positive direction in setting our goals.
  • Feedbackcentric: A byproduct is developing an over-reliance on the opinions of others instead of having the courage of developing our very own value system.
  • Seeking Alternatives: Leaving one unstable location for another seldom succeeds. It matters if we choose of head north, south, west or east of where we are - the territory varies greatly.
  • Getting Fixated: Setbacks in life can often freeze parts of our development, but we must then decide if they hijack our personalities or we can muster the strength to move forward.
  • Escaping Ourselves: Sometimes we are tempted to not face ourselves by dedicating our time and efforts to outside activities, but that is merely a decoy. The road to inner peace is having an acceptance of ourselves and drawing on those mini accomplishments along the way.
  • Report Carditis: Frequently we fall into the trap of rating ourselves every hour of every day, a futile and self-defeating practice. Only when we falter can we get back up and learn from our errors, which are not sins. If it were otherwise, we'd grow smug and complacent.

These nuggets of distilled wisdom can guide each of us to conquer our fears and be determined to ultimately prevail. Let us view each setback as a temporary state, a time-out period until that next success comes our way. Please test out the above... and phone 503-365-7533 if you find yourself in a better place, at a smoother pace.


Salem-News.com Community Writer Barry Lee Coyne brings to our readers stories from his combined career of journalism and gerontology, and explains that these paths shaped his values. Lee Coyne once worked for The Civil Service Leader in NY State and covered the Legislature. He has also done features on mediation and arbitration, and believes in healthy skepticism. This writer-therapist often views the world as the masks of comedy and tragedy placed upon the scales of justice. For him, optimism inevitably wins. "Lyrical Lee" has traveled to 30 nations aboard and was once a press intern at the UN. His first published article was in The NY Daily News in '59, dealing with the need for integrity in public office.

He also launched the nation's first tele-conference on health education for shut-ins, created the Eldermentors project in VA to pair retirees with immigrant students needing role models, and was the main catalyst behind CCTV's "Public Public" panel show here in Salem. Lee received his BA in International Relations and an MSW in community organization. He currently serves as a member of Salem's Library Advisory Board. To send Lee an email, please write to this address: luckycoyne@yahoo.com





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Sean Flynn was a photojournalist in Vietnam, taken captive in 1970 in Cambodia and never seen again.